Streaks of Light

The only wish I had for 2009 was for my life to be a little bit unpredictable and so far, I've been given that chance little by little.

Before 2009, my life has been so fucked up. I have to quit school. My grandfather died. Everything was out of order - relationships, and everything. I fucked up with friends. Play with people and hurt their feelings. Until I started losing everything. I wasn't happy with what was going on. I made lies to myself and to all those people I loved. It was so ordinary yet it was so annoying. At the end I found out I was living a miserable life.

Then came 2009, I realized that it's time to organize myself. I decided to survive and go on with what was left in me. I wanted to be independent. It all started in a dream of becoming a real man - someone who can stand on his own and can decide using his own brain.

For the past two weeks, I got a glimpse of that "unpredictable" dream. It's been a learning experience so far. From decisions I have to make for myself, for my family to things that I have to do and using time efficiently. It was all new to me. I never had this kind of feeling in my entire life. I'm not saying that I'm happy with everything that was going on but at least, I'm starting to appreciate life like I never did before.